Fun, Drunkenness and General Disorder
by lovesbitch4spike
Summary: Luke and Grace get drunk in Grace's room. Along the same lines as The Amazing Adventures of Geek and Butch


Fun, Drunkenness and General Disorder

Rating:R-ish

Category: General

Characters: Grace/Luke

Disclaimer: I own nothing. CBS and Barbara Hall own everything. Don't sue.

Description: Luke and Grace get drunk in Grace's room. Along the same lines as The Amazing Adventures of Geek and Butch

"Bleck," Luke said, passing the bottle back to Grace. "What is this stuff?"

"I don't know," Grace answered. She began laughing hysterically. "But it's kosher."

Luke joined her in laughing. The two of them fell over laughing so hard it hurt. Tears streamed down their cheeks.

"I don't get it!" Luke said, gasping for breath.

"That's because it wasn't that funny!" Grace answered, wiping the tears from under her eyes. "Whew."

"Pass that back over." Luke took another sip.

"Pansy. Chug it like a man!" Grace demonstrated.

Luke tried and ended up inhaling a little of it. He coughed. "It's good." He knocked his knee against her bedpost handing the bottle back to her. "Ow. I mean hey, _no_ ow!" He hit his hand forcefully against his calf. "I can't feel my legs. I have no legs!"

Grace haphazardly pointed a finger towards him. "You, my friend are a lightweight." She attempted to stand up but teetered over and fell back down. "On second though I'll stay right here."

"I don't know what all these after school specials were talking about. This stuff doesn't melt ... what do they call 'em again?"

"Candles?" Grace guessed. "Popsicles?" "Polar icecaps?"

"Brain cells, that's it!" Luke rewarded himself with a generous gulp. "I see things so clearly. I'm gonna become an alcoholic! It'll make me into a genius. You're a genius Grace. I wanna shake your hand."

"That's my foot."

"Yes. Yes it is. Little toesy-woesies. You ARE a genius."

"So, you feel better."

"Are you kidding? I think feel great! I feel super. A minus shey minus. You're my bestest bud Grace!"

He threw his arms around her knocking her over and spilling some of their booze. "Don't waste it! Do you know how hard it is to steal from a Rabbi?"

"Where's the rabbit?" he asked, chugging some more.

"Rabbi dimwit. Maybe you've had enough. And maybe I should have some more."

"I have concerns towards your intention towards my sister."

"Oh yeah, what?"

"Well you can't have sex with her."

"Why, cuz she's with Rove?"

"No cuz it would be hot, but it couldn't be hot cuz it's my sister and I'm not supposed to think about her naked cuz this isn't Arkansas."

"Perv."

"Could you have sex with Glynis instead? I have a new webcam and I promise to give the URL out to only a select few individuals."

"Perv. How about with Iris?"

"Ok, but only if the sound's off. It'd be like giving a dog a squeaky toy."

"Are you calling me a bitch?"

"No, but if the cami's fit."

Grace attempted to get up to leave. Luke put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm a mean, nasty drunk."

"Nasty all right. Luke, that's not my shoulder."

"Oh, sorry." Luke sat back, whacking his head on the wall. He rubbed his head. "Ow." He began snickering. "Heehee, Grace boobies." Grace smacked him on the back of the head. "Ow!"

"So why is it that every time we're together we end up fooling around?"

"Cuz I'm sexy?" Luke suggested. "Cuz you're desperate? Cuz we're on drugs?"

"Well I do find the whole gun building thing oddly alluring."

"I knew it. It's cuz I'm sexy. Have you ever had sex with Joan?"

"Does my imagination count?"

"No."

"Then no."

"Have you had sex?"

"Does my imagination count?"

"No."

"Yes."

"Are you imagining that I said yes to the imagination question?"

"Yes." Luke paused. "You know, we should just do it together. Get it over with."

"Down boy."

"Where's your hypothesisiness? Is that a word?"

"Where's you're girlfriend?"

"Probably arranging her knee socks by color and date of purchase."

Grace finished off their bottle of courage. "Ok let's try it. No mushy talk though."

"Agreed."

Luke climbed on top of her.

"Hey," Grace said, "Watch the hair! I spent actual seconds styling this."

"Oh sorry." Luke shifted his weight and fell off the bed. "Why don't we try it on the floor?"

"Have you seen my floor?"

"No, but I can't feel my legs, so I just thought..." He got up and made his way back onto the bed. He started unbuttoning her shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"Threeplay... fiveplay ... two play ... foreplay! Yeah, that's it."

"Well cut it out. Just stick it in already!"

Luke took offense. "I'm trying to get you in the mood."

"There's a Maxim over there."

"Really?"

"Are we going to do this Gerardi?"

"Oh yeah." He kissed her and clumsily reached south. "Oh Grace."

"Um, lower. Higher. Lower. To the left. To the right. Lower. Ow!"

"Sorry. There?"

"Close enough."

"God you're so beautiful. Baby, I want you so bad."

"I said no mushy talk! You're grossing me out."

"Sorry! So sorry. So... So.."

"You know, let's just forget this. It's not natural. It's not right. And you're sister is my friend, all right? And then her friends would tell their friends who would tell your friends if you had any. And then goodbye geek girl. Plus, you have a penis. So in conclusion it's not right. Unless you really want to- Luke? Luke?!"

Science boy lay passed out next to her, snoring loudly. She sighed, took off his glasses and turned off the lights.

*************************

"Ooohhhhh," Luke moaned.

"Ugh," Grace answered.

The morning light was making both their hangovers worse.

"Uh, Grace?"

"Yep?"

"Did we almost?"

"Yep."

"And did I touch your?"

"Yep."

"Grace," Luke said, "Let's never drink again."

"Agreed. Do you really think about your sister and I having sex? Cuz that's sick!"

"Grace," Luke repeated, "Let's NEVER drink again."


End file.
